Why Daddy Is a Pinhead

It turns out that here in Madison we have an “author” who has gotten some national attention for his work. When I heard about his first book, I didn’t realize that he lived here in Madison, although I might have guessed that. That’s because I heard the title from Rush Limbaugh and it was called Why Mommy is a Democrat.

Of course it’s a children’s book and he made the papers again today by announcing that he has written a follow up called Why Daddy is a Democrat. In the article, they gave a sample line from Mommy:

“Democrats make sure everyone always has enough to eat, just like Mommy does.”

The “author’ is a fellow by the name of Jeremy Zilber. As far as his real vocation is concerned, the article points out that he, “most recently had temporary teaching assignments at UW-Madison and Lawrence University in Appleton.” So in other words he is an unemployed, over-degreed slacker, right up there with Kevin Barrett, our 9/11 nutcase.

Zilber says that as far as what his critics say, he is most bothered by those who call it propaganda. But he says “I think the book will encourage children to want to learn more about politics." And in fact he may have something there. Let’s look at the sample line from Mommy. When a child reads the line that says Democrats make sure everybody has enough to eat, a question will pop into the child’s mind. That question will be “So who are the evil doers that are trying to keep people hungry?” And with a minimal amount or research that child will learn that it is Republicans who take time out from torturing kittens and puppies to make sure that, somewhere, a child will go to bed hungry. See? He learned it on his own. Zilber’s not telling them WHAT to think, merely HOW to think. Isn’t that what good teachers do?

So I’m thinking maybe I’ve got this guy all wrong. To determine the truth, I did a little snooping and found out where this Zilber lives. Then I went by his house and rifled through his trash where I found a draft copy of his yet to be published, Why Daddy is a Democrat. I’m sure he won’t mind my sharing a few quotes with you. And it appears that he is continuing with the practice of not mentioning Republicans by name so that little Johnny can find this stuff out on his own.

“Democrats believe in free money, like the checks Daddy gets from the Department of Workforce Development. There are other kinds of people who get money by murdering people, exploiting minorities and defiling the Earth. They are not Democrats.”

“Democrats love ALL the children. Then there are those other people who fornicate with sheep and then eat their offspring. They are not Democrats.”

“Democrats are a lot like your dog, Buster. They wag their tails and lick your face and they will always love you. But that Rottweiler down the street who mangled your ankle last year? He is not a Democrat. He’s not even an Independent who will caucus with the Democrats.”

“Remember when your Uncle Bunky taught you how to play ‘Hide the meat puppet’? Well I hope I don’t have to point out that Uncle Bunky is not a Democrat. If you become a Democrat, he will stay away and leave you alone”


So it looks like I owe Professor Zilber an apology. He is merely providing the tools for the sifting and winnowing that they will be asked to do when they are adults.